| 17 September 1942 |
[16 Feb 2009|01:08pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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Rosalind wrote. Sometimes I'm still annoyed with her for not marrying Jer, but if he can get over it mostly then I suppose I ought to. I liked the idea of having a sister.
She said a lot of things. That people care. I don't feel like that right now. Rosalind is smart, and she doesn't lie. So she might be right.
As an aside, why does everyone keep pushing me at Trevelyan? I swear if I liked boys we'd have been contracted as soon as Jer and Madoc could write the papers. After which Penrose would gut me with a cufflink. They're dull, but he'd be really determined.
"At the end of a game, the winning team is the happy one", according to Rosalind. That's the team I want to be on. I just have to figure out how.
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| 15 September 1942 |
[24 Sep 2008|02:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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contemplative |
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Someday I won’t be writing about Pippa every time I open my journal. Someday is not today. Jerome wrote to apologise, finally, in that way he does where he won’t say he was wrong. He was, but it doesn’t matter now. I know she didn’t love me back. I always knew that. I did hope that she might, however unlikely that was. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t a reason to insult her. Or me. He managed to win over his impossible crush, you’d think he’d have more sympathy.
Pippa’s gone, Wood’s been kicked out, Josette is acting strangely and I’m in a position of authority. I don’t really know how to live in a world like this. I’m trying.
The drills went as well as one could expect. They weren’t a complete shambles, at least. It’s hard to remember I can boss everyone around if I need to, that they’re supposed to listen. Should ask Rachel Zeller how she gets that tone in her voice. Maybe if I learn it I’ll feel less strange about ordering people about.
It seems ridiculous to still have schoolwork with everything else that’s happened. I should do some reading. But I might write back to Jer instead.
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| 14 September 1942 |
[27 Jun 2008|10:11am] |
I don’t want to be here anymore.
Potter made us all run and do exercises this morning, and I would have objected, but they’d just send me to the infirmary. And probably take points. And then I’d have been there when they brought Wood in after his whipping. I don’t want to ever see his face again.
I keep thinking I ought to leave. I’m old enough to go. Dad would bluster for a bit but he wouldn’t send me back. But someone thought I was good enough to be on the Squad. Even if the Gryffindors were just a bribe to Dumbledore like everyone says, they didn’t have to choose me. I don’t want them to have been wrong. More wrong, I suppose. I’ve already cocked it up once.
I let Pippa down. She’s gone. It’s awful and I hate it, but I can’t do anything about that. What I can do is help make sure she’s the last person we lose. Guess I’ve got some evacuation instructions to study, then.
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| 8-9-42, later |
[23 Sep 2007|10:55pm] |
And the day of strangeness is now complete. Cowper asked Pippa along to a party. Whether it’s pity, or… I don’t know what, it’s unexpected and probably not what Pippa should do. Not that she thinks so. Apparently being near people will help her cheer up. How standing around staring at Hector Smith is going to help, I do not know. Maybe it will. Maybe I’m just worrying too much.
Wood saw them leave together, and made the vulgarest lesbian joke he could come up with the minute he saw me. He’s completely predicable. I’ve told him that frequently. But I must be too, he always makes me so angry. It’s like being twelve again. Of course I say the absolute wrong thing and tell him where they’re going.
I felt terrible about it until I remembered Josette’s friends all hate me even more than she does, and Wood is oh-so-touchingly attached to Gryffindor Tower. It’ll drive him to higher levels of stupidity than usual that Slyths and Claws are throwing a party there. I don’t want Pippa to get in trouble, but if our prefects do it’s hardly a tragedy.
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| 8 September 1942 |
[24 Aug 2007|12:21am] |
What’s happened since I last wrote in here? Oh, nothing much… McCormack’s a traitor, Minerva’s a cat, Cooper’s the new prefect, and Pippa’s in serious trouble with a creature I can’t see.
I don’t know what to think about McCormack. We didn’t talk much, but I liked her better than Cowper. Wish I knew what she's done. I'm not defending anything that would hurt Britannia, but how much damage could she cause from school? It seems cruel to keep her and Rochford here. Better here than gaol, I suppose. I shouldn’t be surprised Mathers gave Cooper her badge. Not as though I want the job, anyway. Really. I don’t.
Miss McG definitely seems involved with Charis Leffoy. As hacked off as I should be about missing the signs there, it’s for the best. Minerva’s pretty but there’s only one girl I’m interested in. That transfiguration was brilliant, I’d want to do that if it didn’t require so much boring research first.
I’m talking about anything else but what I really should, like always.
This situation with Pippa, it’s bad. Really bad. Awful. I felt so terrible telling that Auror all her secrets, but he said Jen’s right, and I may not take B&E but I know enough to know that’s bad. Keeping an eye on her is hardly difficult. Practically the story of my life ‘til now. I just hope she doesn’t hate me for it when this is all over.
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